Jesse Lingard has revealed he considered taking a break from football during the COVID-19 lockdown last year because of mental health issues affecting him and his family.
The midfielder is currently thriving on loan for West Ham having previously endured a difficult spell at Old Trafford where his performances were called into question.
During that spell Lingard was going through a tough period in his personal life, where he was forced to look after his younger siblings due to his mother’s illness, and conceded he had bottled up his emotions. The 28-year-old has admitted his mother’s struggles with depression affected his mental health while he was at United and made him seriously consider whether he wanted to continue playing.
“It feels like you’re not the same person, I feel like I wasn’t Jesse Lingard,” he said. “Even in football matches, I felt like the game was just passing me by, like I just didn’t want to be there – it was crazy.”
The 28-year-old explained how his mother had struggled with depression since he was 12, and would lay in bed with the curtains closed during the day while he went out to play football, admitting “as a kid, you don’t know what that means.”
Lingard went on to explain how the pressures of top level football, along with the issues away from the pitch, soon began to impact on his own mental health.
“I was going into games happy sitting on the bench and that’s not me. My mind wasn’t there, I wasn’t focused at all. I was thinking about other things and obviously bottling it all up trying to play football, you’re tense, you’re stressed and you can’t do it.”
“There’s some days where I used to have a game at 8 o’clock and we’d go to the hotel in the afternoon, I’d sleep from 2-4, shut my curtains in the dark and then wake up in the dark and you don’t get any sunlight.”
Lingard credits the staff at Man Utd for helping him get through his problems.
Asked why he decided to share details of his problems earlier, he replied: “I feel like in life you go through difficulties, you go through stages of lows and highs, but I feel like you’ve gotta get through the lows, grind it out and you see the light at the end of the tunnel.”
Lingard has been playing with a smile on his face over recent weeks, with a winter switch to West Ham allowing him to rediscover a spark.
Nine goals have been recorded for the Hammers, earning an England recall along the way, and talk of a permanent transfer being put in place this summer is starting to gather pace.
Another unfortunate setback has to be overcome before then, though, with Lingard forced out of West Ham’s defeat at Newcastle after picking up an untimely injury.
David Moyes’ side will be back in action on Saturday when they take in a derby date with London neighbours and fellow top-four hopefuls Chelsea.
A pleasure to hang out with @WeArePresenting back in January to chat about mental health and my journey. It’s something that affects us all. People need to speak out and keep the conversation going. Check out full episode https://t.co/Wjg6oiztL9 pic.twitter.com/TUqDpijSEB
— Jesse Lingard (@JesseLingard) April 22, 2021