Sometimes, even when we lose something we really want, we end up gaining something even more special. This is exactly what happened to Kathy Bates and Meryl Streep after they both lost the 2003 Academy Award for Best Supporting Actress. Instead of feeling defeated, the two actresses shared a heartwarming moment that would stay with them forever.
In that particular year, both Bates and Streep were nominated—Bates for About Schmidt and Streep for Adaptation—but the Oscar went to Catherine Zeta-Jones for her role in Chicago. Despite not winning, the night had to go on, and both actresses still had to attend the ceremony. Bates, recalling the experience in a podcast appearance on Dinner’s On Me with Jesse Tyler Ferguson, shared a funny story about how, during a commercial break, Streep walked by, grabbed her, and said, “Come on, we’re going to the bar.”
They both went to the bar, and Bates joked that it was a moment straight out of old Hollywood rivalry films, comparing it to the famous dynamic between Joan Crawford and Bette Davis. After years of admiration—and maybe even some envy—toward Streep, Bates felt a sense of relief and joy in sharing a genuine connection with her at that moment.
Bates even described how Streep slammed her evening bag on the bar and ordered a vodka, neat. Feeling inspired, Bates did the same, ordering the exact same drink. She mentioned to Ferguson that it was a “moment,” one where they looked at each other, recognizing that both had been so close to winning. It was a kind of unspoken acknowledgment between them—both women had fought hard and wanted the win, but instead, they ended up celebrating together.
Bates admitted that while they were both disappointed that night, she has always admired Streep for her incredible career and the extraordinary roles she’s taken on over the years. This story is a reminder that sometimes, even in moments of loss, we can find meaningful connections that stay with us for a lifetime.