Back in 2017, Lily Collins opened up like never before in Unfiltered, a deeply personal collection of essays. Typically known for keeping her private life under wraps, she chose to share something incredibly raw—her experience in a relationship that was both physically and emotionally abusive.
Talking about such a painful part of her past wasn’t easy. In an interview with Us Weekly, Collins admitted that revisiting those memories and putting them into words was challenging. But she hoped that by sharing her story, she could help other women who might be facing similar struggles.
As the Emily in Paris star reflected on her journey, she realized just how difficult it can be to prioritize yourself in an unhealthy relationship. Walking away isn’t just tough—it can feel impossible. But, as she learned, sometimes leaving isn’t just an option; it’s a necessity.
“It’s not selfish to say, ‘This relationship isn’t healthy for me,’” Collins explained. “It’s about knowing yourself well enough to step away. You can still care for and love the other person, but you have to put yourself first.”
For a long time, putting herself first didn’t come naturally to Collins. But with time, she recognized that prioritizing her well-being wasn’t selfish—it was survival. Even though she still had feelings for the person she left behind, she understood that her own emotional and physical safety had to come first.
Despite finding the courage to leave, she struggled with feelings of shame. She couldn’t help but ask herself: How did I let this happen? How did I get into this situation in the first place? While she never regretted her decision to walk away, she wrestled with guilt and self-doubt.
But as she poured her emotions into writing, something changed. She began to process her experiences in a new way, realizing that shame only holds power if you let it. “It’s taking the shame out of those things that makes you stronger,” she said.
Through Unfiltered, Collins not only shared her truth but also found healing. By opening up, she turned a painful chapter of her life into a source of strength—not just for herself but for anyone who might need the courage to walk away, too.
