
The 82nd Golden Globes kicked off with a bang as Nikki Glaser delivered a side-splitting opening monologue that left no celebrity unscathed. As the first female comedian to host the event in its long history, Glaser set the tone for a night full of humor, wit, and a bit of chaos.
Glaser began her monologue by declaring the ceremony as “Ozempic’s biggest night,” earning loud laughter from the audience. She quickly transitioned to roasting the stars in attendance, showing no mercy as she playfully targeted pop culture moments and big films like Wicked, Queer, and A Complete Unknown. Taking a jab at the Ariana Grande musical Wicked, she quipped, “I don’t know much about the story because I had friends in high school,” eliciting groans and giggles.
Timothée Chalamet’s new mustache became a running gag, with Glaser comparing it to eyelashes, and Zendaya’s steamy film Challengers received a pointed jab as she joked, “It’s more sexually charged than Diddy’s credit card.”
Her roast of Chalamet in A Complete Unknown brought the house down. “Dude, you were so good as Bob Dylan,” she began earnestly before hitting the punchline: “Your singing voice was so accurate that even Bob Dylan himself admitted it was absolutely horrible.”
Other stars weren’t spared. Selena Gomez, seated with fiancé Benny Blanco, was teased as Glaser remarked, “Benny Blanco is here because of the genie who granted him that wish. Lucky guy.”
Glaser closed her monologue with a hilarious reminder for nominees: “If you lose tonight, just remember the point of making art isn’t to win awards. It’s to start a tequila brand so popular that you never have to make art again.”
The audience erupted in applause, appreciating Glaser’s sharp humor and charisma. Adding to the night’s excitement, Glaser is herself nominated for Best Performance in Stand-Up Comedy, making her hosting gig even more special. Whether roasting stars or hyping up the awards, Glaser proved she understood the assignment and delivered a memorable start to the evening.